Today, for those who don’t follow the more obscure and esoteric holidays, is Bad Poetry Day. In celebration of this illustrious of days, I am presenting here my favorite bad poem, for your enjoyment/slow, agonizing death. Sharing of ones own favored vehemently vicious verse, should the spirit move you so to do, is encouraged.

Without further delay, the magnum opus of Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz, Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly.

Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits
On a lurgid bee.

Groop, I implore thee,
my foonting turlingdromes
And hooptiously drangle me
With crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts
with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don’t!

A recitation by the author is available on YouTube, should anyone be feeling suicidal.

Have a ear-bleedingly great day!