Sophie from Shinola, Part XIII
Note: This is the thirteenth part of a multiple-blog, multiple-chapter, multiple-author, multiple-personality exercise amongst a group of similarly-insane individuals spawned from Nathan’s Polybloggimous blog. The basic premise is that we’re writing a story, Sophie From Shinola, and each of us takes a turn writing a chapter. However, we each must change a major element of the story, but only one element. Beyond that, we can do whatever we want — nothing is off limits: killing the heroine, adding parallel universes, whatever. I’m up for Part XIII — there are links to all the parts on Nathan’s blog, as well as selected ones below — and will be up for at least a second round within a week or so.
Part I is available on Nathan’s blog — scroll down past the introduction and rules to find it.
Part XII is on Kate’s blog.
Part XIV is on Bryan’s blog.
A special thank you to Eric, author of Part IV, for planting an outrageous idea in my head that I was sure I’d never have an opportunity to use, to Tom, author of Part XI, for setting me up so beautifully to run where I wanted to go, and to Kate for not closing the door on it before I could get there.
And now, Part XIII of Sophie From Shinola.
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Sophie’s second body was a latticework icosahedron stubbed with momentum and death, incapable of both atmospheric and interstellar travel, but ideal for turning and whirling and whipping around the first invasion fleet, cutting it to pieces in twelve-point-five minutes. Sophie from Shinola, Part IV
At that moment, the hunter-seeker droid that had been zeroed in on the previously dual-brained alien veered toward Blink/Sophie, now the only dual-brained intelligence anywhere near, locked on to Blink/Sophie’s body, and transferred it to the alien sterilization fleet. As ordered, the hunter-seeker aimed a plasma pulse at the other single-brained intelligence nearby, and not-Sophie was reduced to it’s component atoms, which swirled away from each other, repelled by their mutual atomic charges. Sophie from Shinola, Part XI
Not-Sophie’s enormous metal body — engineered to dispense destruction in the distant reaches of the universe — was falling towards a strange blue ball at an alarming rate, accompanied by a large, gray, whale-like creature and what seemed to be a bowl of petunias. Not-Sophie could tell from her peripheral sensors that the small blue ball was rapidly becoming a large blue ball, and that without any means of propulsion in this strange atmosphere, she was doomed to crash into it. She thought to herself how ironic it was that she had been spared what was purported to be total annihilation completely unscathed, but would now be destroyed by a collision with an insignificant blue ball.
Not-Sophie came to rest quite unharmed on what had — immediately prior to her arrival — been a gigantic, sprawling structure. The whale-like creature landed likewise unharmed in a large collection of dihydrogen monoxide, and swam off quite happliy. The bowl of petunias collided with a short, strange-looking alien, killing it, but leaving the petunias unscathed, if a bit disheveled.
From her sensor readings, Not-Sophie gathered that the complex on which she landed must have been used for creating some primitive, inferior form of technology. Her long-range sensors were overloaded with billions of bits of data, though she could make out a tall, pointed structure in the distance, as well as what seemed to be an argument between two of the native species over a container of what the sensor readings indicated was an old and somewhat spoiled plant-juice substance. She found the aliens rather pretentious, and their argument completely uninteresting.
Not-Sophie was awash with thoughts — thoughts about her survival, about being stuck on this primitive, alien world, about having failed in her mission. She cursed that flying, blinking furball for outsmarting her, for foiling her pan, for sabotaging her mission. Right now it was on the ship she was supposed to be on, enacting its mission, not hers. The Prophet would not be pleased.
Having no way to get off the curséd blue ball, or indeed the billions of parsecs it would take to get back to Chenolla VI, Not-Sophie began to consider her options. She could go on a rampage, firing her armament with all its destructive awfulness, destroying everything in her path. But what benefit would that be, aside from blowing off some steam and ridding this bucolic back-end of the universe of a few billion under-evolved aliens? No, she was above such things, better, smarter. She would not be imprisoned on this wretched planet, she would find a way back, back to Chenolla VI, back to her mission.
She would find a way.
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Part XIV is on Bryan’s blog.
April 3rd, 2008 at 11:48 am
Not-Sophie’s enormous metal body — engineered to dispense destruction in the distant reaches of the universe — was falling towards a strange blue ball at an alarming rate, accompanied by a large, gray, whale-like creature and what seemed to be a bowl of petunias.
Every story ever written from this time on should begin with that sentence. (and shouldn’t change them to tulips in the next paragraph; just saying.) Bravo. You are hereby most welcome at all future lunatic exercises I propose in the future.
P.S. Bryan is Jeri’s husband and (I presume), will be posting on Smug Puppies.
(too lazy to paste in the link here, but you all know where it is.)
April 3rd, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Why, that was my significant change…
*@$#&! Now I have to dig out my copy of Ultimate Hitchhikers and check whether it was tulips or petunias. (I have tulips on the brain because mine are sprouting and haven’t been planted yet…)
Followup: The Prophet Douglas sayeth petunias. So let it be written, so let it be done!
April 3rd, 2008 at 12:52 pm
Yes, I will post on smug puppies, hopefully tonight sometime. I agree that whales and petunias brighten every story.
April 3rd, 2008 at 1:08 pm
[...] Jeri Part 7 - Saqib Part 8 - Me Part 9 - Vince Part 10 - Kimberly Ann Part 11 - Tom Part 12 - Kate Part 13 - Justin Ryan Part 14 - Bryan Part 15 - Tania Part 16 - [...]
April 3rd, 2008 at 1:12 pm
YAY! Not-Sophie LIVES!
And as an added bonus? Dihydrogen monoxide!
It’s a killer you know… 100% fatality rate for anyone who ingests it.
April 3rd, 2008 at 2:51 pm
[...] Part 7: Saqib Part 8: Michelle K. Part 9:Vince Part 10: Kimberly-Ann Part 11: Tom Part 12: Kate Part 13: Justin Part 14: Bryan (below) Part 15: Tania Part 16: [...]
April 3rd, 2008 at 4:47 pm
[...] Part 7: Saqib Part 8: Michelle K. Part 9:Vince Part 10: Kimberly-Ann Part 11: Tom Part 12: Kate Part 13: Justin Part 14: Bryan (below) Part 15: Tania Part 16: [...]
April 3rd, 2008 at 5:29 pm
Not-Sophie doesn’t think much of we humans (if that’s where she is), does she? Still… not-Sophie rocks, and I’m glad you brought her back! Nicely done.
April 3rd, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Indeed she doesn’t. And yes, she is on Earth; I deliberately put her somewhere, though I’m wondering if anyone got the joke.
April 3rd, 2008 at 11:23 pm
[...] Part 7: Saqib Part 8: Michelle K. Part 9:Vince Part 10: Kimberly-Ann Part 11: Tom Part 12: Kate Part 13: Justin Part 14: Bryan (below) Part 15: Tania Part 16: [...]
April 22nd, 2008 at 8:05 pm
[...] Jeri Part 7 - Saqib Part 8 - Me Part 9 - Vince Part 10 - Kimberly Ann Part 11 - Tom Part 12 - Kate Part 13 - Justin Ryan Part 14 - Bryan Part 15 - Tania Part 16 - C Part 17 - Nathan Part 18 - Shawn Part 19 [...]